The Competition Box

I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine about racing. He led me to an illustration that allowed me to summarize the feelings I’ve been experiencing on competing. The illustration was that many people live inside this competition box, that you have to reach a certain standing or perform a certain way to be an athlete.  This illustration led me to a conclusion: I have a problem. I ,am not ashamed of this problem because I am aware there are many people, endurance athletes, which suffer from the same problem. The problem is we feel like we have to perform a certain way in order to participate in a race. You know what I’m talking about. In 2007 I developed a reputation on the local mountain bike-racing scene. I won a couple of races and next thing you know, I’m laying in my bed the night before an event, wondering if I should show up to compete because I may not win again. I really beat myself up about it. It seems, though, this is across the board with amateur endurance racing. And, if a person does not perform with sufficient results, he or she will make up excuses. Can you not say, “I just really suck today. Maybe next time.” I once competed in a XC mountain bike race where I flatted during the first lap. I was riding a single speed with horizontal dropouts. In summary, it took a good fifteen minutes to repair. I fixed it, got on my bike, and rode like I was still in the race. Of course, I came in last but I had a hell of a ride. When I finished the guy that won came to me and ask if I flatted. I said, “Yep, it wasn’t really a competition day for me.” He replied in a condescending tone, “But it was a race.” I didn’t know the guy and I wanted to say, “Oh wow, I didn’t notice because you and all your douche bag friends were in the way.”  Yeah, it’s a good thing I have a filter.

We are a community of people with common interest. Why do we have to turn it into a self-righteousness cockfight? As get I older, I glean that competing has nothing to do with results. Setting goals is one thing but pitching a fit because you didn’t hit your marathon PR is another. Lets face it you just ran a marathon. Is that not bad ass? These races that we enter ourselves into are all about spirit and being part of a movement. We are able to do the things we love and while we doing it we advocate and inspire. This is supposed to be fun!

If you are one of those few who are drawing a paycheck from it, more power to you. But I know none of my friends are. And, from what I have gathered, most of the people who are drawing a paycheck from endurance sports are making less than me at a specialty running store. And I, too, get free stuff.

I recently decided to stop training to race and to start riding and running simply because I love doing it. Many of the mornings that I used to go out for a tempo run has turned into a jog on the trails with my dog. I have changed some of my routine training rides into rides around downtown Memphis in street clothes. I am slowly falling in love with running and riding again. Am I still going to race? Of course! However, it will be for the community not the competition. If I happen to produce some results, well, sounds like good reason for a cold one.